30 Sep 14
48,996 notes
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25 Sep 14
19 notes
6 days ago

Sometimes, late at night, visited by dread and shame, I lie in bed and think about somebody else’s life. I imagine the love that they’re getting and the relief that comes from being really known, the private pleasures they share, friends they have and the pressures they don’t, their sense of importance, the satisfactions of their work. I imagine how fulfilled they are, how rich their life is. And in these moments, I feel empty and wanting.

Sometimes, late at night, visited by dread and shame, I lie in bed and think about somebody else’s life. I imagine the love that they’re getting and the relief that comes from being really known, the private pleasures they share, friends they have and the pressures they don’t, their sense of importance, the satisfactions of their work. I imagine how fulfilled they are, how rich their life is. And in these moments, I feel empty and wanting.

22 Sep 14
86 notes
1 week ago
30 Aug 14
21 notes
1 month ago
30 Aug 14
87 notes
1 month ago
29 Aug 14
12 notes
1 month ago

Sometimes I wonder if I am using this site right, or what I am using it for at all. I read posts on my dash about how people I follow have made amazing friends through this site. I follow friend-groups who reblog each other. I even follow people that have visited other countries and met up with tumblr users. 

I wouldn’t say I made this account or use it with the hope of gaining friends, but I have been on here for 2+ years and have literally made /zero/ friends on this site. I suppose my blog really does have no personality. I just post gifs or screencaps from TV shows or contribute to a few gif blogs. I rarely post personal information or send asks. 

But it is still kind of makes me think like “huh, what am I even doing here?” a lot. I put so much time into this site, either by trying to see everything on my dash or post gifs of a new episode or movie I liked. But it doesn’t actually get me anything. I have almost no mutual follows, and making gifs, even ones that hit 100-400k+ notes, doesn’t DO anything. It’s really just a pointless hobby that sucks time from my life when I could be doing something productive. 

Lately I’ve really become more invested in the lives of people I follow than my own. I am like “oh wow she got a haircut” or “I’m so glad that job interview worked out for him”, but like…why? I don’t even know these people. 

I’m not sure where I wanted to go with this. It really isn’t a plea for friends. It is just me pondering what the point is of using this site in the future.  

(I will say though, this site has informed me of tons of great TV shows, movies, and music groups. I probably wouldn’t know about Orphan Black, My Mad Fat Diary, Please Like Me, Broad City, Inside Amy Schumer, like 30+ movies, and half the music I am currently listening to without this blog. But even that is kind of “meh” to me. Ignorance is bliss. If I never heard of Inside Amy Schumer I wouldn’t be upset I hadn’t seen it.) 

I most likely won’t be around until 2015, and that is if I decide I want to come back at all.  I’m busy with school stuff and every day it gets harder to justify having a tumblr.

See ya~ (like Cookie in that Ned’s Declassified where he dressed up as a girl. I hope just one person can get that reference)

27 Aug 14
21,852 notes
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(Source: kirkspocks, via milestellers)

20 Aug 14
54 notes
1 month ago
17 Aug 14
25 notes
1 month ago
16 Aug 14
1,496 notes
1 month ago
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